fireflys_locket | Entries tagged with degrassi

In which I talk briefly about dealing with anxiety (and why it's never been a better time to be a nerd) and not so briefly about things that I love.

Hey, look: I'm posting again! And it hasn't been forever. I'm pretty proud of that. I really don't know why it's been so hard to come up with things to talk about this year. I mean, I have theories, but... well, that doesn't really matter. I'm here now. I was talking about social networks with Jill last night, and I was lamenting how LiveJournal really fell out of relevance for most people. But I love this place. Maybe all that's left now is nostalgia, but I don't care. This is where I post my thoughts, still. When I have something more than a tweet's worth of a thought. I've reluctantly accepted Twitter as a worthwhile way to get small thoughts out. I didn't want to like it, but I do now.

So, this week hasn't been much to talk about. I went to the mall to get a book last Saturday, and there was some kind of mall event going on. I was only there about 15 minutes, but I've been exhausted since then. I seriously almost turned around and left right away when I saw all the people. I was emotionally exhausted all this week. I didn't get any writing done, save for just a paragraph or two last night. That how much that kind of thing affects me. But I know I'm not the only person who goes through that. People with high anxiety have good company, I think. That makes it suck just a teeny, tiny bit less. Occasionally.

I read a good post yesterday about what we think of as flaws not always being inherently bad. Everybody just works differently. If you embrace the things that are part of you and work with them, stuff usually turn out better than if you were fighting your own nature. I find that to be pretty true for me. Some weeks just don't work out writing-wise. Stressing about it just gets me in an even worse space for writing the next week. Knowing that helps, but it can still be hard accepting a "bad" week when everything was going so well. But I try. And when I"m dealing with anxiety or the exhaustion from it, I try my best to enjoy things I can do while recovering. (More on this later...)

There's a craft show this weekend I want to go to, which is always busy. So, I might be emotionally weary all next week, too. It happens. Things will come back together, though. Although I was not happy to see snow yesterday, I am kind of ready to not go out as much (which isn't a lot, as it is, but still). To snuggle up with my writing and reading and video games and Netflix all Winter. It's a really good time to be an introvert, guys. Or a nerd, or whatever you want to call it. There's just so much stuff you can enjoy at home by yourself. Or with people you're close with, if you're lucky enough to have some. Love stuff, by the way. It's fun to love stuff.

So, what kind of stuff am I loving right now? Well, the short answer is LOTS OF STUFF!!! I'm going to give you the long answer...

While I haven't been writing this week, I have been reading. After feeling so overwhelmed most of this year with "needing" to read writing from friends and acquaintances, I switched to reading some books I've been dying to read. I finished Mockingjay a couple of weeks ago. Wednesday, I finally started The Fault in Our Stars. Yes, the third John Green book I've bought, and I'm finally reading one! (I have sooo many books to read, gah.) Why did I wait so long to read this book? I'm already totally in love with it. And I pretty much knew I would be, from all the stuff I've heard about it on Tumblr or VlogBrothers. I even ordered a signed poster, because it was just so pretty. (The story behind the poster is cool, too.) Sometimes, you just know when you're really going enjoy something. And if you're like me... sometimes, you save that thing for when you really need it. Like I did on Wednesday. So, I'm glad I waited, in the end.

While I'm on the topic of VlogBrothers, I've been watching my way through HankGames videos (with and without Hank). I particularly enjoy watching Hank and Katherine play Super Mario Brothers Wii. They are my go-to videos right now. Along with - as always - catching up on Giant Bomb videos. These two sets of videos, more than anything, have been making my weeks more enjoyable lately.

I've been watching other stuff, too. I recently watched through Samurai Champloo on Netflix. I haven't started another show or season yet, but I've thinking either the second season of Dollhouse or the third season of Being Human will be next. Meanwhile, I've been rewatching The Vision of Escaflowne on DVD. (Did I ever tell you how much I love boys with wings? Like, seriously. Sparkly vampires are great and all, but give me ghosts or angels over them any day.) And I'm watching Degrassi and The Legend of Korra on TV. Neither is particularly thrilling me this season, but the way fans have abandoned both shows kind of scares me.

I've also been playing games. I got back into Skyrim this week. Finally started the Dawnguard stuff. And I've been playing lots of The Sims 2. Both games are go-tos for de-stressing. And they work just as well as ever, thank goodness. I've been all over the place with gaming for the last month. I can't even begin to list every game I've played a bit of. But yeah, gaming is fantastic, and I love it.

I don't necessarily love times when I'm not writing as much, but that's how I get to fit some of this other stuff in. I've gotten back to organizing and (with Joe's help) hung some posters. I even made an new icon post for the first time in about two years. So, yeah. I've been enjoying my time just fine by trying to focus on good things instead of the not-so-good. It can be hard, I know. Trust me, I know. But I'm mentioning these things, because I'm really grateful that they exist and I get to enjoy them.

And I want to thank Ben and his video for inspiring me to make this very long post, that no one will read. Hehe. I like looking back at my posts every once in a while, so this is for future me, mostly. This is what I've been up to and thinking. I love you, Gina (future me). I hope you're doing well, too. (And you have Morgan, if we're lucky!)

Current Mood: geeky
Current Music: B*Witched - Blame It On The Weatherman | Powered by Last.fm

I've been so busy this week, and for the first time in awhile, it had nothing to do with my Grandma's house. Such a relief. I did stop by there with Jan and Paul once to feed Grandma's stray cats. We saw four kittens! It was the fist time I can remember seeing such small ones all year. Jan and I also picked some sweet peas. It was nice. I know I'm going to miss the house a lot when I can't go anymore.

So, this week's busy was mostly to do with writing. I started last weekend off by working on Miss Masquerade while playing with Sapphira's family on The Sims 2. It's such a fun way to write. I started to think about some of the characters that don't have last names, since I couldn't make them as sims unless I gave them some sort of last name. So, with the help of my Mom doing some research on Italian surnames, I found a last name for Sylas. I wrote it on the notebook I keep on my desk and glanced at it over the week. Everytime I did, I still really liked it. I'll probably make him (and his brother) soon.

Tuesday, while I was doing laundry, I was thinking about book names for my Magic Inc. series. I only had titles for the first 3 books. I was also thinking about my old Harry Potter series, which had many of the same themes. (It was probably because I've been reading a HP fanfic over this month. A great read, by the way.) I thought about the parallels between the world I was making up just in my head and the fanfiction I was writing out. I realized that with a little work, I could use some of the old titles. Now, I have great titles for the first 6 books and tentative ideas for the following 2. Putting those titles into place on my timeline made me end up spending a good hour or so getting some other stories lined up. Now, I have 15 of the busiest years in place.

I also finished the Miss Masquerade chapter that I hadn't quite finished. And I was super nervous about that part. Sapphira has a dream, whose effects I had planned for ages, but I hadn't figured out what exactly was going to happen. I was almost sick about it until Thursday, when I showed Jill. She loved it. I kept asking her for opinions, since she studies dreams, but she had a hard time not just saying how much she liked it. Hehe. I still think it needs a little work - it feels quite raw, like most parts of Spun of Silver - but I do feel better about it now. Or maybe it's supposed to feel raw, considering Sapphira's reaction to it? Hmm.

Yesterday, I spent the day with my Mom, then we picked up Joe around 6PM to go see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. Believe it or not, it was only my third time. Yeah. That's insane for me. Just goes to show how busy it's been with my Grandma's house. *Sighs* Anyways, I enjoyed it so much... cried lots... but I also started getting ideas for an upcoming Miss Masquerade chapter. It's a blessing and a curse. The better - or more inspirational - the movie, the more likely I am to start feeling like I need to write or think about my own stories at some point. That's why I enjoy watching movies at home by myself best. I can pause whenever I want to for a 10 (or more) minute break. It happens all the time.

Today, I wrote about 5 pages of Dreaming in Shadow, finishing up a chapter I've been working on for a few weeks. The first half was action-oriented, which is not my favorite or best type of writing, but the second half was full of emotion. I had such a great feeling while writing, and I found some great songs to fit with it. One is a song from the newest season of Degrassi. Fits so well. Goodness, I love Degrassi music. <3

I've been totally in love with Degrassi, of course. I'm trying to not overwatch this season, though. I watched the Boiling Point episodes so many times that I'm kind of sick of them. I don't want that to happen again. I still love interactions between Clare and Eli, though I'm not sure they should get back together. I like Imogen in a character appreciation-type way. I'm not so crazy about Jake. He's sweet sometimes, but I can't see him being a long-term match for Clare. I wish there was more Adam, though I know they need to deal with older characters storylines right now. Speaking of that, I just knew they didn't bring in a pretty young teacher without plans for a student/teacher relationship. I like it so far, though I miss Sav/Anya still.

Current Mood: creative
Current Music: Data Romance - Bullets | Powered by Last.fm

Life is full of surprises. Last week, I sort of made up with Christen. And this week, Grandma is more alert and focused on getting out of the hospital, not just moving on to Heaven. It's really amazing. She is acting a little confused, though, which bothers me. But we think it's a medicine thing... she's on so many. I guess only time will tell if she's really getting better. I'm still kind of scared to trust in it.

Yesterday, I also spent some time planting at Jan's house. I really didn't want to go at first, but it was beautiful day. I'm glad I was there. That house also feels relatively safe to me. It's easily a family home already, probably helped that I (just barely) remember back when my Great Aunt lived there. The flowers are gorgeous, but there's still plenty of room for more flowers. But be sure, Jan will have it full of lovely flowers in time. She's like a garden faerie. HeH.

Meanwhile, I've been able to get a bit of writing done in the last week. I wrote a chapter of Magic Inc. last Friday. And last night, I finally broke and started a new Degrassi fic. I've been watching so many great fan videos on YouTube, and it makes me want to write so much. ^_^; This time around, I was inspired by this video, and the idea of Julia being the one to live instead of Eli. The video is lightly femmeslashy, which is fine, though I have a slightly different idea for my story. It's also probably going to have a little supernatural twist at the end, which I wish I could leave as a complete mystery, but I have a feeling if it comes out of nowhere, readers won't be happy.

The structure of the story is going to be made up of mostly very short chapters (like a page or two), and every other chapter is Julia writing a letter to Eli as part of her therapy. It's another sort of abstract concept like Three Days. And I don't know if I'll stick to it. It seems like a lot of work to put into fanfiction. I think I'll at least need to wait until the DVDs come out before I continue because I want to follow all the Misfit scenes in the story. But anyways, that's my new crazy idea.

I stayed up too late writing. :/ It's taking time out of what I wanted to do last night and this morning. I haven't even taken a shower yet. Eek.

Current Mood: surprised
Current Music: Shōji Meguro - Electronica In Velvet Room | Powered by Last.fm

I wrote all day. I guess I must be feeling better. Oh, you didn't know I was sick. Well, that's okay. I started feeling sick shortly after writing my last entry. I'm not sure where I got it, but I've got a cold again. And it's hard to breathe. My Mom had to ask a pharmacist what I would be allowed to take with my other medication the next day. It was pretty awful the first night. I didn't get to sleep until after 2. I hadn't seen 2 AM in months. I didn't really miss it. :/

Anyways, the next night, traumatized from one bad night of sleep, I started having a panic attack the second my head hit the pillow. It was pretty intense, but my Mom had just gone to sleep, and I didn't want to bother the company. So, I took 2 Klonopin, knowing it would knock me out, and called my Dad. He's always said I could call anytime, and it wasn't even midnight. He's been really supportive lately. We talked until I started drooping.

I'm definitely still sick, but I'm feeling so much better today. Claritin really works to help you breathe. And good sleep makes all the difference. I won't be surprised if I have another bad day or two, since that's what usually happens, but maybe my Dad and I really will start work on cleaning Grandma's house on Saturday.

While watching My Body is a Cage last night, I got an idea for a short fic I just had to write. It's kind of sad, but hopefully, it reflects what will happen in the last two episodes of the season. Or hopefully not - depending.

Oh, my goodness. I've been listening to this song all day. It worked quite well for writing Recovery, but it fits Dreaming in Shadow perfectly!

Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: Coldplay - Swallowed in the Sea | Powered by Last.fm

I'm disappointed in myself. I wrote all of one page this week. I didn't even bother showing it to Jill, yesterday. Not all weeks are good ones, but lately, I'd been doing so well. The pressure from Dreaming in Shadow still lingers with me, but I think it might be something else, too. I've been really depressed this week. I think it's hormones. :/ Even if I'm not normal, I still have symptoms, sometimes.

Also, Valentine's Day is fast approaching. Should I try to sleep through it again? Maybe, I'll only have depressing dreams, anyways. Maybe, there is no point. I don't know.

I've been playing a little of Suikoden the last couple of days. It's fun, and a little different. The art looks good, which makes me happy. Playing PSOne Final Fantasys is tough for me because of the art. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle the many characters that I guess you can pick up. I'll probably stick with a main party most of the way through.

I've also started my next online reading mission. I'm rereading the Draco/Hermione fic: You Gotta Breathe. It's kind of intense at the beginning; just a warning, in case you want to check it out. The author is working on the third fic in the series now. I only got part way through the second... I think that was around when I left school. Anyways, I'm thinking it will be joining my Favorite Fanworks List. And I'm hoping that daily reading will get me inspired again. Though - as usual - my problem is more a lack of motivation.

Degrassi tonight... still not excited. My Mom is way excited, though. *Sighs* It just looks like everything I care about on the show is about to fall apart. Is it that hard to believe that I'm not excited for that? Randomly, does anyone have a good name idea for J.T. and Liberty's baby? I'm sort of working on a fic relating to that, and I'm more excited for it than actual new Degrassi episodes. Yeah, I said it. :P

Maybe it will all turn around tonight... but I doubt it.

Current Mood: grumpy
Current Music: Evanescence - Lacrymosa | Powered by Last.fm

And I'm drowning in it. :/ I think I take it back when I said I wanted a new Degrassi promo. Okay, yeah... it looks like great drama, but no, no, no!

Clare's feeling suffocated? Maybe Clare and I aren't as alike as I thought. And I'm worried for Eli, of course. That death card just keeps haunting him. I guess it makes sense, but please, don't die, Eli.

I am most upset for Adam, though. I had a bad feeling that Fiona's acceptance of Adam might actually mean she likes girls. I mean that's actually decently interesting, but it sucks for Adam. I wanted Fiona to be a person, who would love him just the way he is. I wanted that so badly. Adam, I love you. I'm so sorry. Come live in my dream world instead.

I'm totally depressed now. I already was the last few days, but now even more so. My stomach feels sick. Oh, my Misfits... what is happening to you?

ETA: I think this means I'll be writing more Degrassi fanfiction...

Current Mood: anxious

I've got Mandy, Joe's friend's dog, here again. Ah, it's so nice to be home alone without actually being alone. And she's just the sweetest dog. I love her so much. Hehe. I've been lucky enough to have two great doggies here this year. I just wish Joe would let me have one of my own.

Taking Mandy out has become a bit of an adventure this time. ^_^; I don't usually go out in the snow for more than 2 minutes. Our walks are much, much shorter than they used to be. My Mom got me an awesome pair of gloves, which helps. But I still go out in shorts and a tank top under my coat. I know, I'm weird. I don't ever wear long sleeves or long pants. I just don't. I get overheated too easily.

Meanwhile, Christmas approaches. I have mixed feelings about Christmas. :/ I actually have the money to get some nice gifts for people this year, which is great! But Christmas, in general, just depresses me. *Sighs* I'm hoping once my Aunt Jan is living around here, she'll find a way to cheer up the holidays, since she loves them so much. So, maybe, this will be the last depressing Christmas? Hard to say.

I don't know if I'm going to do cards this year or not. I bought some. I guess I should really decide, huh?

I've really had to push myself for writing lately. Winter's just a bad time for my writing, it seems. Maybe it's the depressive weight of Christmas? My ideas have still been building well, though. The writing part just isn't coming as easily.

I will say that the Harry Potter fic I'd been reading helped a lot for last week's writing. I finally got the first chapter of my J.T./Liberty fic written, though it still needs some work... and a title. :/ I don't usually write until I have a title. I just got possessed to write it when I did. This week, I'd like to get a chapter of Miss Masquerade done. We'll see how that goes. Some Spun of Silver would be good, too. But that's a lot to ask for out of one wintry week.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Delerium - Twilight | Powered by Last.fm

Well, my Mom and I finished watching all of Degrassi. Now what are we going to watch? Hmm. But the point of this post was to fangirl briefly over the minis of season 9. I hadn't watched the season 9 ones before. I don't really like a whole lot of the other minis. Mostly just the J.T. ones and the "What if Craig Married Ashley?" one. But I thought all of these ones were good.

Ghost!J.T. would be good enough, but I swear there was some forshadowing. Jenna was pregnant right next to K.C., and J.T. told Holly J. "This guy needs you." pointing to Sav. I think there was one other, but I can't think of it right now. Silly me. Anyways, I just thought it was funny.

As for me, it's lonely without Mandy tonight. *Sighs* But her owner said she could definitely stay again next time they go out of town. ^_^ I can't wait!

Current Mood: cheerful

The first episode was sort of disappointing, I guess. Just a warm up for things to come. The promo after the show, though... oh, my goodness. Adam and Fiona looked at each other!!! Ehehe. It was so awesome. I'm excited for Adam/Fiona, if you can't tell. <3 And I hope Declan and Holly J. get back together. Sav/Jenna seems... interesting. Not as interesting as my story, though. :p

I can't believe they are going back to once a week, though. :/ But Eli/Clare and Declan/Holly J. sounds like a good episode to me. I'll stay hopeful.

Current Mood: contemplative

I keep a notebook on my desk for scribbling down notes (obviously). A lot of the notes have to do with writing, like names I might want to use for characters. And then, there are lots of scattered lyrics. Lots and lots. It's rare for me to actually finish a song. In the last year or so, I've gotten close to it twice. I'm trying to tie in my original songs to stories, if I can. that seems to help my productiveness. But I still haven't finished a song in years. :(

I'm not sure why I have so many little lyrics that come out. I have no idea what to do with them. I don't want to throw them out, so I keep collecting pages and pages of lyrics. Oh, well.

So, Degrassi is back tomorrow! I'm excited ... and scared. I'm hoping that my Adam and Fiona will get together. I just refused to think that promo picture meant nothing. Now that I've written them, I'm even more invested in them. However, I worry for Eli and Clare. I'm happily in love with Eli/Clare, so something bad will totally happen. Couples never stay happy for long. :/ *Sighs*

But now that I'm into it, I guess I'll just keep "fixing" things in fanfiction. I have a few stories I'd like to write, as it is. One about Liberty. One about Sean coming back and stealing Emma away. (That marriage with Spinner couldn't possibly last. ~_~; ) And one about Jenna, believe it or not. That one's for chibisah . Hehe. But I'll talk about that one later.

And the last chapter of Three Days is actually finished, I just need to get it back. It took a slightly more emotional turn. Eli did it, himself. I swear characters are always coming to life and making decisions for me! I'm kind of okay with that, though. I like the way it turns out, usually.

I've still been watching Degrassi with my Mom. We're on Season 7. Getting close to being done! I also rewatched Princess Tutu, this week. I loved it even more the second time around, I think, because I was freed with the knowledge of the end not being the expected one. I actually love the ending, now. And I love Fakir. He fits in easily to my broken boy collection. <3 And he writes, too.

I also watched some of the voice acting extras. Luci Christian (who plays Duck/Ahiru in English) cried when she was recording the end. Awwww. I want to meet her so much now. She did so great. I wish there were anime conventions around here again. *Pouts*

Current Mood: creative
Current Music: The Leaky Cauldron (LeakyNews.com) - PotterCast #47: Pants | Powered by Last.fm

Today, I went out to two different farms and saw some alpacas and miniature horses. It was a great little adventure. The alpaca farm was so warm and friendly. It seemed like the whole family was greeting us happily. They had a nice gift shop, and I spent way too much money there. Haha. I don't really regret it, though. Everyone was so welcoming that I was glad to give some support. The little alpaca toys were just so cute. I videoed a mini puppet show for Ethan when I got home. I hope he likes it.

The farm with the miniature horses was a lot busier, but it was nice, too. There was a table with some Amish goods and a miniature horse pulled cart for kids. I wished that Ethan could have been here for it! It was getting kind of windy and lots of the horses were too far off to pet, so we didn't stay as long there.

I was tired all day for some reason. I had to drag myself out of bed this morning. I'm really glad I did, but when I got back I crawled into bed and watched some Project Runway from Netflix for a couple of hours. It's a good lazy show to watch. I felt a little more awake, afterwards.

Last night, I finally started work on the last chapter for Three Days. I only got a page done, but it was flowing pretty well. I'm relieved; hopefully, this is a good sign. I also reached a Dreaming in Shadow milestone: page 75! I should throw a party for 100. Haha.

I'm also continuing to work on my Favorite Fanworks List. Unfortunately, it seems like so many of my favorites just aren't available online anymore. So disappointing. :(

Current Mood: lazy
Current Music: Mark Mothersbaugh - Funny Bone | Powered by Last.fm

Well, the week didn't turn out as awful as I was expecting. The appointment with my psychiatrist went well. We decided to just keep with what we've been doing. I have an appointment in December, so we'll see how things are going by then. If anything goes wrong, my Mom can always give him a call.

Ah, so... I got some writing done. Dreaming in Shadow and Spun of Silver. I'm coming to the point in DiS that I have very little left that I've ever written. It's both exciting and scary. I haven't been this far along in probably 5 years. I've restarted it so many times. I think this version is coming along nicely. I wasn't feeling the same about SoS. I'm now writing Chapter 4, which I've never done before. The beginning feels kind of awkward to me, but Jill said it read fine to her, so... maybe I'm just being paranoid.

Poor Grandma got a dent in her car on Wednesday. We were in Dollar General getting some groceries, and when we came out, there it was. :/ Because we don't know who did it, she has to pay to fix it, herself. *Shakes head* At least we got to take a look at some pay-as-you-go cell phones. Grandma finally agreed to let me get one for her, and I think I know which one I'll be getting.

A new trailer for Deathly Hallows Part 1 came out. I'm getting pretty excited. <3 I'm sure I'll have more to say on it in the coming weeks.

Not much time left before more Degrassi! <3 Just two more weeks. I wonder if my Mom and I will have watched all the old episode by then. We just started up Season 5 last night. It's probably my favorite season (of the older characters, anyways). It has two of my favorite couples. J.T. /Liberty and Alex/Paige. It fact, my favorite episodes turn out to be all on one disc. HeH.

I'm just a little concerned that my Mom is going to find my liking of Alex/Paige a little weird, but she's dealt well with Adam, Riley/Zane, and Dylan/Marco. Still, I think she's worried about me not being "normal" at different times. But what is "normal", anyways? I talked about it with Jill a little yesterday, and we both think there's degrees of everything. Most people aren't 100% either way. But I think Degrassi has been a good learning experience for my Mom. I know it was good for me.

Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: Marié Digby - Fireflies | Powered by Last.fm

Fall is my favorite season. It has been for quite a few years, now. Often, I have more lucid dreams, and my writing improves... or at least becomes more abundant. The last couple of years, it's also signaled the end of a rough Summer. It's like a breath of fresh air.

Yesterday, My Grandma came over, as usual. I like the new Wednesday and Sunday thing we've been doing. Wednesdays, we go out to eat and get groceries or do some work around her house. Sundays, she comes over and we hang around here, mostly. Anyways, yesterday, Grandma watched the car race and helped me pick out what to plant on Farmville. Haha.

Then, my Mom, Grandma, and I went to a pumpkin festival. It was just a small local thing. It was sprinkling a little, so Grandma stayed in the car, and we brought her some hot apple cider and a gyro. I had some funnel cake, a delicious big cookie, and a snow cone in an awesome looking container. Haha. To be honest, I ate way too much yesterday. ~_~; Bad Valerie. We also bought Grandma a pot of lovely flowers, and I got a small pumpkin (it was the pumpkin festival, after all).

When we got home, we had a Skype session with John, Denise, and Ethan. I showed them the pumpkin we bought! <3 It made me feel so much better. The week seemed so long after they left. I missed them so much. I wish they were always around. *Sighs* But hey, at least we can talk online! I even tried reading a book to Ethan over Skype. He was a little too excited to sit still, but I found a few other books to try for next time.

I haven't done much writing the last few days. I'd like to get the last chapter of Three Days done this week, but I'm kind of stuck on it. :/ The other chapters were flowing much more easily. I guess I haven't actually tried pulling up the document and giving it a go, but I was bursting with ideas for the other two chapters before I even started them. Maybe I just have to wait to get struck with inspiration. I could work on my other Degrassi story in the meantime... ^_^;

I guess part of it might be the stress I have about going to my psychiatrist, tomorrow. ~_~; I'm going to have to reopen some wounds to tell him everything that's been going on the last few months. And we don't always get along. In the end, I'm sure going is for the best, but I'm still not looking forward to it. It's not likely to be a good day, tomorrow.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Olivia - I.L.Y.~yokubou~ (Album mix) | Powered by Last.fm

Well, my company is gone. It was a really wonderful week; I'm so sad it's gone. :( Hopefully, I can get them to start coming twice a year. My Uncle said he'll probably retire next year, so it should be easier for them to come more often. Thank goodness.

I spent a lot of time out while they were here. And I took lots of pictures with my new camera. We went to the park. We took Ethan to see Christmas Land. He made us run through it twice. The second time, backwards. Hehe. I even took a long (for me) trip to Deer Park. It was great. I think everyone had a good time. Brain's girlfriend, Eena, was really sweet, too. It was nice to find someone who understands that part of me. She's really quite pretty, as well.

*Sighs* But now, it's over and time to get back to normal. Only, my normal hasn't been so great the last few months. I do think being nearly constantly busy running after Ethan was really good for me. Body and soul. <3 I think once I get over the fact that they aren't around, I'll find that it helped revitalize me. Things will get better.

/trying desperately to be positive

I actually got both chapters of fics that I was waiting to get back over the week, too. And I mangaged to post them. ^_^; Somehow. I 'd forgotten how annoying it is to get the formatting right on LiveJournal. Ugh. Well, hopefully it was worth it.

In case you missed them:

Hate You, Hate Me - Chapter 10 (Harry Potter)

Three Days - Chapter 1 (Degrassi)

I didn't get many reviews for HYHM, but that's to be expected. It is only a rewrite, though I think I changed some pretty important things. And goodness, only one chapter left to revise before I can, finally, post completely new stuff.

Three Days has a modest amount of reviews. The funny thing is I've only gotten 4 ff.net reviews so far, but the story is on 9 favorites lists and 10 story alerts. o.o; That's a big difference. Is this something that happens a lot? Are people too busy/lazy to review even more than they used to be? I'd think if they are willing to put a story on their favorites list, they must really like a story. Right? Wouldn't you want to say something to the author? That's the way I'd do it. Maybe I'm just too nice.

Well, anyways... my goals for this week are finishing up and posting Chapter 2 of Three Days. I have a good idea of how it's going to go. I just have to get myself to do it. I also have some other Degrassi story ideas that are floating around in my head. It might be awhile until I get to them, though. I can't focus too much on fanfiction. Though it is tempting. I'd forgotten how nice it was to know that people like your story. I rarely show my original stories to people, so there's less motivation from outside sources.

Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: Do As Infinity - aurora | Powered by Last.fm

Company is coming in 4 days!! I'm so excited. <3 <3 <3 Meanwhile, I've been decently busy lately (which is a good thing). I helped my Grandma clean on Wednesday. Got some writing done, too.

Speaking of that, I actually started up a Degrassi fic this week. It was a crazy, random idea that actually kept me awake two different nights. Inspired in part by some of

chibisah 's ideas. It's going to be a experimental three-part fic. There will be one chapter for each of the Misfits. I'm actually pretty excited about it. It's different from anything else I've written, conceptually. It's kind of strange but in a good way (I hope!).

I've also become a beta-reader for

degrassijunk 's Degrassi fics. ^_^ It's been pretty fun so far. I just hope I'm doing a good job... I haven't beta-ed in a long time.

It's nice to have the Degrassi fandom to fill in this awful waiting period. Other than the writing and beta-ing, I've made some icons from the Much Music macros? Is that what they call those things? Forgive my un-hipness. They'll be posted soon, along with my usual NANA icons and such. I'm also continuing to watch Degrassi from the beginning with my Mommy. We're on Season 2 now.

With all the fandomness I've been doing lately, I suddenly remembered that Favorite Fanworks List I started up awhile ago. Oops. Well, I finally added a few of my favorite fics to start it up. I also added in Degrassi pairings to the pairing list. I figure it's a big enough fandom in my life now. HeH. It is also getting its own tag in my journal. <3 Anyways, recommend some fics?

Well, it's time to dry my hair and get on to today's beta-ing. <3

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: Nada Surf - Always Love | Powered by Last.fm

Is it sad that I'm a little disappointed that no one got stabbed? Just a little. I'm so glad Eli and Clare are okay. <3 But honestly, I have way more to talk about with the Fall promo right now.

Things I noticed:

1. The uniforms have that horrible high-waisted skirt like Fiona's school. :/ What is up with that? My uniform wasn't like that.
2. That is Clare next to Eli, right? Has to be...
3. Eli seems to be dropping music notes to me. Does this mean he's going to sing to Clare, after all? ^_^
4. Declan's back, but Holly J. doesn't look very happy. This disappoints me. I just can't get myself to like Sav/Holy J..
5. What is Dave holding?? I saw a comment on the video saying it was a taser gun. What would he be doing with that?
6. From the video comments, it seems that Alli is the one who is leaving the school, but it will only be temporary. That didn't sound like her voice to me, though.
7. Where Clare runs away from Eli in tears seems to me to be the "terrible emotional trauma" Aislinn tweeted about. I'm not thinking it has to do with Eli directly. I think it's more personal. I think she also says "I don't know who I am!".

I can't wait for more episodes! <3 I don't know what I'll do until then...

Okay, now that I covered my feelings on that, mostly... a little more on All Falls Down. In part 1, when, Eli kisses Clare and she sighed, I pretty much squeed out loud. That was so awesome. And there were a lot of good Eclare moments in that one. I need some nice screencaps for icons. Though I'm sure people already have that covered. Still, I wonder if they'll release a two-part boxset this season. That would probably be a good idea.

In part 2, I found it interesting that Eli was able to trick Fitz. He's so smart and he knows Clare so well, that's why it worked. I liked how Clare and Adam worked together to find Eli. And how Clare ran to him. It was so emotional and scary. And then, they make us think for a second that Eli was stabbed. My Mom and I both gasped, even though I knew he was at least going to make it through. Man, those Degrassi writers like to tease us!

Now, to what I didn't like... I'm so disappointed in Drew. He really gained some points with me when he stood up for Adam, but that's all gone now. I miss liking him. It wasn't so much that he cheated on Alli (though that was sad), it's that he cheated with Bianca, the girl who messed up his brother's life. How could he do something like that? :/ I didn't like that Adam seemed to have no reaction to it either. I'm thinking it was one of those things where they just didn't have the time to cover it. Disappointing.

Speaking of not having the time to cover something... Jenna at Clare's house? Where's my apology? Where's my Jenna realizing she made a big mistake choosing K.C. over Clare's awesome friendship? ~_~; Maybe they'll still cover that at some point. Please, Degrassi writers, stop glossing over issues like this. I started thinking Jenna might have a big breakdown when she's at the hospital. And Alli and Clare would be there. Then, Jenna could apologize in the heat of the moment or something. Or maybe even in the lead up to the baby, if Clare is really supportive, which she would be. My Mom said she thought she could see Clare convincing K.C. to be there when the baby is born. I thought that was an interesting idea. Somehow, I don't think they'll take advantage of such things. But I'll have hope... for now.

On the personal side, things have been a little shaky at home. So, if I talk to you and seem a little weird/upset, don't worry too much. Just tell me to take a Klonopin. ^_^;

Current Mood: restless
Current Music: OLIVIA - Dear Angel | Powered by Last.fm

Oh my? It's been a busy week. In good and bad ways.

I found out last Friday that my family from Texas is coming early next month, and I am so excited. I know I shouldn't play favorites with family involved, but they are a lot of fun and pretty much drama free. Which I can't really say about any of my other extended relatives. ^_^; Of course, I love seeing all of my family, but there's always some level of added stress when I see most of them. It's just inevitable. Seeing my Uncle John, Aunt Denise, and Ethan is just pure enjoyment without the feeling of tiptoeing around. My Cousin Brian is also coming with his girlfriend, who I'm both excited and scared to meet. She's a vegan, which is awesome, but I'm always scared of meeting new people. Hopefully, it will go well.

I've had a ton of fandom stuff this past week. I finally finished season 2 of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, which I found to be pretty much amazing all around. I liked season 1 (besides that one episode that I wish I had never seen.), but season 2 was about 10x better, in my opinion. Jill says that it just gets better and better from there, so I'm really excited to see more.

I don't want to jump into Season 3 too soon, though, so I decided to start Firefly yesterday. Space isn't really my thing, but I've heard such good things about it, so I figured I'd give it a try. And I'm so glad I did. It's fascinating! I already love the cast of characters. It didn't even take half of the first episode to feel totally hooked. I'm just sad that it's so short. :(

And of course, there's Degrassi! I can't believe I'm saying this, but I feel a bit sorry for Jenna. ^_^; Stupid me. I guess compassion doesn't (and shouldn't) shut off even for characters/people you don't really like. I really hope that they explore Clare's reaction to Jenna's pregnancy, because I think she'd show compassion too, and I'd like Jenna to see she made the wrong choice when she chose a relationship with K.C. over her friendship with Clare. Because Clare is awesome! And speaking of that...

Well, I think nekoshoujo223 was saying she didn't like dead girlfriend plots, and I have to agree. It was sad, certainly... but I don't know. Not my favorite idea for Eli, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. I really liked Adam in these episodes. I feel bad for him being the third wheel. I loved how he said that if anyone could handle it, Clare could. <3 I kind of thought Adam might start having a bit of thing for Clare after she was so understanding. But she's not really his type, I guess. And what about that promo pic of Adam and Fiona (First column, second down)? That is a very interesting couple to me (in theory). And I really want Adam to find some happiness.

Then, there's the crazy promo for next week. o.O; It kind of blew my mind with confusingness! What the Hell is Drew doing with Bianca, the girl who started the messing up of his brother's life? You just made me like you, Drew, now you're pulling something like this? Ugh. I'm sure there's more to it than the obvious, but still... that's frustrating. :/ I really need to watch that promo again to process everything in it. And by again, I mean... a thousand times. Does anyone have a link? And I can't believe it's the last week for awhile. :(

I think I've reached the point of being tired of WoW. The friends I joined to play with are so much higher leveled that when we actually play together I feel like I'm doing nothing. And games like that get boring and lonely when you're playing by yourself. *Sighs* I don't know if I'm done with it forever, but for now, I feel pretty sure. I'm glad I only invested $20 and about a month to the game.

Last, but not least (Wow, this is a long post, sorry!)... I wrote about 8 pages in the last week! This is probably not as exciting as it may (or may not) sound. I think I'm just catching up on lost time. Things are still a little weird. I'm still not sure I'm on enough medicine, but at least things are better enough that I'm writing. And come to think of it... last week wasn't bad either for writing. So, improvement has arrived. But I still get scared daily that I'm going to slip back down into the abyss. :/ I don't know how to not be negative.

Current Mood: dorky

I actually wrote some fanfiction yesterday. Rewrote the rest of HYHM Chapter 10 that I started in Februray. It was a combination of influences. I wanted to cheer up Audry, and Emily had been disappointed in my lack of fanfiction writing recently. I'm sure she would have rathered a chapter of Lily and the Coral Orb... but that would be a lot more effort. ^_^; Besides, Audry loves HYHM. It's how we met. <3

I'm still working on the medicine thing. And I hit a little sad spot since Emily's been gone because I already miss her. I hope she's having a great time with her other friend, though. ^_^ And I know I'm recovering in general because I've written twice in the last 7 days. Things are getting better. Slowly.

Degrassi-wise... I'm not crazy about this set of episodes so far. I'm not all that fond of Alli lately, and I really dislike anything that gives K.C. and Jenna more screen time. Ick. And I'm not crazy about Sav/Holly J. either. Didn't Sav just call Anya the "love of his life" when he finally stood up to his parents? Why isn't he fighting to get her back? Anyways, I find Conner and his online girl-friend the most interesting thing so far in these episodes. Yes, seriously. I want them to meet.

I am very excited for the second set of episodes for this week, though. I can't wait to finally have some Adam-centric episodes. That might be part of what's got me down about the current set. I'm just looking forward to Adam's story so much more. I totally love the Adam-Eli-Clare trio concept. <3 YaY, Misfits!

Current Music: Norah Jones - Don't Know Why | Powered by Last.fm

...and still, are the same. I still think it's strange, but I'm finding myself about as attached to the idea of Eli and Clare as I was with K.C. and Clare. I didn't want to like him at all, and now, look what happened?! *Sighs* Well, maybe it only makes sense. Being so much like Clare, of course, I would love the guys she loves. :/

But now, I'm so scared for him. With Death card and all... Originally, I wanted that card to mean that Eli was was dangerous. And I was hoping that it would somehow lead Clare back to being with K.C., but now that I've actually seen Eli, I love him way too much for that. Unfortunately, that has me slipping into seeing the Death card as danger for him, instead. :/ Oh, poor little worrier, me

Current Mood: worried
Current Music: Linkin' Park - In The End | Powered by Last.fm

So, apparently, one can only have 150 interests on LiveJournal. I tried to add one just now (Eli/Clare, though it may be temporary), and it told me I had the limit. So, I did some interest pruning. It did actually need it. And I could probably do more if I wanted to be strict, but I don't like this limit. I'm paying for LiveJournal services, and I am interested in way more than 150 things. Sorry, for being an "interesting" person? Actually, I'm not... but it would be nice if LJ could add on loyalty interests or some such, like they do with icons. Just a thought.

By the way, I actually had an Eli/Clare dream. o.O; I guess that shows that my subconcious, at least, has jumped ships. :/ I'm starting to wonder if K.C./Clare = Shouji/Hachi and Eli/Clare = Nobu/Hachi, for me. I was totally in love with Shouji/Hachi when I first started the manga, but then, he breaks her heart, and I was traumatized for awhile. I'm not sure I loved Shouji/Hachi quite at a comparable level to K.C./Clare, or for as long, but still.

This is so strange for me.

I think I'd be better off thinking of Clare (and Hachi, for that matter) more as daughters rather than as me. That way, I can still feel a strong connection with them, wanting the very best for them, but not feel so personally betrayed by the inevitable drama. As long as they end up happy, it shouldn't matter who they end up with. ..right? (Vanessa: Just keep repeating that, Valerie.)

Actually, in the dream, Eli was more "flirting" with me. As in trying to win me over, so I'd let him date my daughter. :P He said he'd become a vegetarian. A great way to score points with me!

Yes, I'm weird. I know.

Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Lady Gaga - Paparazzi | Powered by Last.fm

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The Diary of Firefly's Lake

Blog of Valerie Rutherford, YA Novelist

Entries tagged with degrassi

A Post...

So Inspired!

Surprises

Recoveries

All of one page...

In Too Deep...

A Doggie Winter

Season 9 Minis

Degrassi season is here again!

Lyrics and Fixings

Alpacas and Miniature Horses!

Not So Bad?

Pumpkins and Leaves

Fanfiction Blues

Busy Fandom

Degrassi Summer Finale and Fall Promo

Family and fandoms and writing!

Fanfiction and Misfits

Oh, how things change...

Becoming less interesting...