fireflys_locket: (Stupid Weather (Kagome) - fireflys_locke)
It's been a long time since I really enjoyed Christmas. At least as long as I've been out of school. (Eight years, for those counting.) Mostly, holidays just depress me in general. Even my favorite holiday, Halloween, turned depressing the last two years. Pretty much, any day that's supposed to feel special depresses me, because it doesn't feel any different, so there must be something wrong (with me). I know I'm far from the only person who feels this way, especially with Christmas. But holidays feel lonely and disconnected. My Mom and Joe usually go to some busy family holiday party, and I gladly stay behind. But even though I know I'm making the right choice for me, I feel left behind. Alone.

This year was somewhat the same as always. And yet, the build up to Christmas felt very different. I was more angry than sad. Christmas has become so materialistic and over-hyped. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of feeling lonely, because I can't handle family parties. I didn't want to get presents, and I didn't even feel excited to give them. Besides a few presents for kids (which were more fun to buy), I didn't buy much for people this year. I just wanted to skip over the whole end of the year.

Except that this was the 10th anniversary of the dream that inspired Dreaming in Shadow. And I wanted that to feel special. But it didn't, either. I wrote a little bit to celebrate, but I was really tired from the one day of Christmas shopping I did with my Dad. (In fact, I was exhausted basically all week because of that, but it was nice to finally see him.) This was more disappointing to me than Christmas. Holidays are basically a lost cause for me... but I'm finding it hard for something really important to me to pass without any special feeling. The same thing happened with finishing my three first drafts earlier this year. In that case, it was all so bittersweet. But either way, it's hard for me to recognize any sort of personal achievement, because I don't feel like I deserve it. Yes, writing is going really well, and I'm quite proud of my work these days. But I never feel like I've actually reached a point that's worth celebrating. I only see how much work there is left to go.

I just want things to be back to normal. In all honestly, I've balanced myself better this year than ever before. I had a rough Spring, for sure, but it wasn't as bad (or as long) as most rough Summers. But there's a sense that in order to balance my normal better, there has to be less of a positive tip as well. I've never ever had high highs to balance my low lows. But I think my highs are even lower now. It's probably worth it; living in panicked low times is beyond words. But it would be nice for some things to feel special.

I just don't know how to do that.
fireflys_locket: (Fireflies (I Keep Them in a Jar) - cru5h)
When the clocks changed, so did my mood and motivation. In the last week, I finally finished the first chapter of Dreaming in Shadow, got through half of the second chapter, and wrote a whole chapter Magic Inc. Maybe that sounds great. And most of the way through, it was. But by my fourth day in a row of writing, I was pushing myself too much. See, around this time of the year, a lot of writers are doing NaNoWriMo. And let's just be honest, I hate NaNo. The idea of writing a whole story in a month makes me feel ill. I don't want to force writing out every day. I don't want to care about word counts. But then, other writers I know do NaNo and post about their word counts and such. And I'm jealous.

Yeah, I'll admit to that. I'm glad that I'm sticking to my ideals and the way I work best. But NaNo does produce visible results, and it makes me feel inferior. I'll have been working on Dreaming in Shadow for 10 years come December 24th. I've gone through ups and downs. The earliest chapters have been through 5+ versions. And I know NaNo is not the end of the story for writers who participate. I'm sure lots of great novels have surfaced out of NaNo. But the point of NaNo has been stated as "quantity, not quality". And I just can't agree with that at any point of the way.

Still, my Ego gets jealous at the results. The Ego likes numbers. And even though it was disguised as getting to see how ridiculous getting that much writing done in a month would be for me, I pushed myself on Wednesday to make the 1,667 words in a day that would be a daily amount to reach 50,000 words in a month. With only a couple of 20 minute breaks and one hour-long break, it took me all day. And I was ill by the end of the day.

I was so drained and sick that, the next day, I read an article that triggered me so much I had to crawl in bed sobbing. I will totally claim my part of this. If I hadn't overworked for four days in a row, I probably could have gotten past this with just a minor bad mood. But that's not what happened. And now, I feel like I have to say something.

I like my attachments.

I enjoy reading The Daily Love and other spiritual sites. I honestly do. But occasionally, I'll hit a post that triggers me. (And often, it's not that bad when I go back to it. My own emotional state when I read almost always plays a role.) But I definitely have an issue with the "release attachments" way of thinking. This article makes mention of it in a way of saying that if we're too attached to an outcome we'll never get it. And he used the example of a friend of a friend trying to find "the one". He was apparently too attached to this idea and only found someone when he stopped looking. This triggered me because it was basically telling me to give up my attachment to finding Morgan. And that just sent me into hysterics.

Look, I'm not going to argue over what works for other people. Everyone is different. But I hear this "release attachments" way too often. I hate the idea that - to make ourselves more spiritual - we have to be unattached to things. We may be spiritual beings having a human experience, but we are still human. Yes, occasionally, being too attached can bring you pain. But I don't believe the right way to react to that is to not care. I want to be attached to finding Morgan. I want to be attached to being known as a writer. I don't want to "release my attachment to the outcome" of those things. In fact, trying to release those things would give me the pain of repressing core parts of myself.

I do believe there's something to be said about not being attached to exactly how and when these things will happen. But I do need these things in my future. And I want to need them. They are part of who I am. I will do my best to follow where the Universe guides me and understand that It knows best. But I was not given these dreams for no reason. I was meant to be invested in finding my Soulmate. And I will never give that up. Not for anything.
fireflys_locket: (Pillow for Morgan - lovestruckicons)
I had a killer migraine on Valentine's Day. Even though my pressures are so much lighter than most people's, I break down so easily. My computer was making an awful noise, my shower radio broke, and of course, I was alone. But hey, that's life, right? Joe got the dust out of my computer yesterday, and now, it doesn't sound like it's about to explode. Although there were so many things I wanted to do this week that I hadn't done yet, I gave myself a break. The world wasn't going to end if I didn't get any writing done, and I didn't want a second migraine. After another long session of Sims, I actually did feel like getting things done. I fixed up letters for two of my friends, caught up on some reading... and then, I had a panic attack.

Even though that migraine filled the physical pain quota, it didn't let me escape from the emotional pain of being alone. You know, I really did try to not care about it. I stayed off of Facebook and other places that might upset me. I didn't complain to anyone. I just played Sims and tried to pretend it was just another day. And it really is, isn't it? Yet that doesn't matter, it's a huge trigger for so many people. From the way I feel right now, I wouldn't be surprised if I had another panic attack. I've settled into a miserable feeling. Long gone are those hopeful feelings I was trying to build up... though honestly, I'm just dealing with the same pain. Weird that I was obsessing over that more than being alone? Yeah, maybe. But that was what I thinking about.

Well, apologies on the rant. I tried to hold it back until Valentine's Day was over, at least. I didn't want to put my negativity out there for those, who actually were happy. If you had a good Valentine's Day - or even a great one - I'm happy for you. What I want isn't anything grand. I just want to spend it with him. We could stay home and play video games, like any other day. That would be perfect.
fireflys_locket: (Kagome Stupid Weather - fireflys_locket)
My Aunt Jan loves gardening. Through her, I've come to enjoy it as well, though I still really don't know what I'm doing without her. Back in the first two years after my Mom and Joe married, my Mom planted tulips at this house. Once, she bribed me into helping her by offering to take me the get the third Harry Potter book, which had just come out recently. That was probably the last time there were flowers at our house. That's right, 1999. Sure, there were two weak looking rose bushes, but that was practically all.

And the reason there weren't tulips is because my Mom's back is really in bad shape. It has been all of these years. So, now that Jan is home for good, I figured that everyone would enjoy having flowers again. Or my Mom and I, I should say. I convinced her that Jan and I would be happy to plant flowers at our house. And we were... until Joe got involved.

Joe is super OCD. He won't admit to it; he thinks everything he does is simply "the right thing" to do and that everyone should be like him. (Excuse me while I retch.) Of course, he was going to be bothered by a change. Even a good one. And it's not like we were doing anything crazy. We are just planting along the house. In spots where flowers used to be. That's it.

So, my Mom was dragging her feet about telling him what was going to happen, and when she finally did tell him, she messed up some of the details. He fumed for a while, then, adjusted to it. But when we starting digging in spots where my Mom forgot to tell him about, he blew up again.

And just as Joe is so good at doing, he sucked the enjoyment out of planting. I don't care if he hates me. I honestly don't. I couldn't care less what he thinks of me. I can't stand him. Occasionally, he'll do something nice, but before I even have time to appreciate it, he'll turn around and do something stupid or rude. He hates pets and even takes a stand against flowers. It's so hard to live in a house that doesn't even feel alive. It's so detrimental to my writing... or even, living. I wish I didn't have to live with him... but I'm totally stuck. So, time and time again, I just have to deal with his crap. Ugh.
fireflys_locket: (Eureka Concerned - roxora)
It was another tough week.  I've had worse weeks, but this was a very bad one. My Dad finally arrived to pick up his stuff left at Grandma's house, and he brought a friend with him, Joe. This friend was a jerk. In the truck, after meeting me a block or so previous, he reached over my Dad to put his wrist on my leg and said, "Nice tan." An insult joke, of course, since I'm about as pale as possible. But he touched me. And guess what? Did my Dad get upset or say anything to protect his daughter? Nope. He laughed. Apparently, it was a great joke!

After a couple more blocks, my dad asked how I've been doing. "Okay..." I answered. "Okay? Sort of okay?" My Dad replies. And his friend says, "You're young; you'll get over it." Yeah, my Grandma just died, but apparently, I'll get over it. Thanks, Dude!

This guy proceeded to insult my Grandma's house, dig around in her drawers (and medicine cabinet...) to see what was left, and throw a dime at me. Plus, he drove recklessly through stop signs, while he and my Dad laughed about it. I had to keep praying I wasn't going to die this way. I deserve better.

At least now that's over.

But on top of that, my Joe's been extra touchy lately. Like I don't have enough upset feelings right now. Like I need him to shout and bang stuff around because I want to watch TV with my Mom for a couple of hours at night after he's had 7. Or that I didn't wipe the dog I'm watching's paws, when I did. Stupid little stuff. It makes me wish I wasn't so messed up, and therefore, stuck here. But what can I do; this is my life, so I have to put up with his crap. That's just how it is.

It's not a very good environment for writing though, I'll tell you that. I did manage to write about 9 pages last week, while he was also out of the house most of that time.

And I did have a couple of good points over the week. <3 One where [livejournal.com profile] fluffyfledgling sent me some old drawings she'd made for me, and the other, last night with Sierra. It was so good to get out of the house and away from Joe. Wish it could happen more often.
fireflys_locket: (Kagome Stupid Weather - fireflys_locket)
...is exhausting.

I guess I could explain my week by saying I was in a dumpster. Literally. There were some ups to balance the downs but not many.

Basically, it started when my Aunt decided to sell whatever was left in my Grandma's house to this guy for $600. Jan has been wanting to pay people to come in and help for weeks, because she was exhausted and tired of cleaning. To her, this was a blessing: for some one to pay her to get things out of the house. But she was so desperate to be done with everything that she didn't really think of anyone else.

See, we hadn't actually gone through everything. Which was my goal. I didn't want to accidently miss something that might be important to keep. And maybe there wasn't anything else, but I wanted to actually know that. To feel sure.

So, meanwhile, I had no idea about this deal and was relieved to hear that my Dad was finally going to show up to get his stuff. When I called my Mom to let her know we'd be going down to Grandma's, she stopped me. She said we couldn't get anything else out of the house until the guy picked up whatever he wanted. This deal no one had bothered to tell me about. I was upset. Not just with Jan, but with my mother for not thinking before she agreed to the deal. There was at least one thing I still wanted, that she wouldn't let me bring with us the night before, these lovely pink dessert dishes. Now, they were stuck as part of the deal.

And then, I also knew my Dad was going to be furious. And I was going to have to deal with it. Let's just make it clear: because of my Dad's obsessive spending and gambling he was unable to pay his bills to the point that he had no internet, cable, long distance, or gas last month. And he had years to get his stuff out of my Grandma's house. I couldn't count all the Springs I said we should make an effort that Summer. However, he did help us a lot when we first started to clean out the house. So, I did feel bad that when he finally got himself together, I had to give him the bad news. He yelled at me, as I knew he would. But it still hurt, because I had nothing to do with the agreement. In fact, I was angry, too! ~_~;

Anyways, after several phones calls between the parties, things calmed down... sort of. But when my Mom got home she also let me know that the bags of recycling we had spent hours getting together the night before were thrown into the dumpster we rented at my Grandma's house, because Jan said they were "in the way". If you didn't know, I'm pretty serious about recycling. So, yes... I jumped into the dumpster to pull them out. Lucky, I had a good session of therapy that night. But I still went to bed fuming.

The next day, however, after another unhappy phone call from my Dad, my Mom went to the house and made an agreement to buy back the items my Dad wanted. And Jan did get back the pretty pink dessert dishes, as I asked her to. So... all's well that ends well? Except I'm still kind of hurt that Jan didn't think to ask me if there was anything else I wanted to do there. And when she called me yesterday, I explained that to her, in a calm sort of way. Because I don't think it would have helped anyone for me to hold it back. I told her I thought everyone had a valid point in the situation, but everyone was so focused on their own feelings that we hurt each other. She said that was a considerate way to think of things. But she also said that everyone always blames her for "doing the right thing".

Because my Aunt... and I won't said that I'm not at all like her, because I am in a lot of ways... always needs to be the victim. Always. She never feels loved enough. She always feels that she is blamed for everything. I am so thankful for the time we have spent in these last few months. It's been special, and we really needed each other. But this is something I knew would come up again.

So, things have been stressful and anxious, but now, I'm mostly depressed. Cleaning Grandma's house was part of my process. Now, I feel cut short of my mission. I just feel like shrinking away and disappearing into a story. Let the real world fade away for awhile. And yet... what I really want is for my real life to be beautiful and feel worth-while. I want to be happy. Truly happy. At least some of the time.

And as always... I just really want Morgan to hold me. Photobucket
fireflys_locket: (Tink Cries - peaces_icons)

Fair warning: This is an extremely depressing (somewhat insane) post. If you only want to read the Harry Potter portion of this post, skip to the second set of ellipses (...). I'm not going to LJ Cut any of this, because it all fits together, but I won't blame you for skipping my crying rants.
...

It's getting harder and harder. Being at Grandma's house. Looking at the spaces where furniture used to be. This was my childhood home. My home. How can this be happening? I miss Grandma so much. I've been just pushing along, knowing we have so much work to do. But I can feel it building. The terror after the house is sold. When it all comes into view. Grandma is gone. And she isn't coming back.

I had no idea this year was coming. Not that I didn't worry about Grandma often. But to think this actually happened. I just can't handle it. Never being able to call that number again. Never having someone there, always there, to listen whenever you need her. There is no one else, who can fill her space. I have a gaping hole. Just another aching need that can't be filled.

So, you see, when things are in a good place, it's not easy for people to bring up the idea that what I want most in the world might not exist. At this point, it was a very big mistake to suggest such a thing. I'll make it clear for people, who wonder, so they won't ask. If I thought Morgan didn't exist, if I lost my belief in him, I would kill myself. I wouldn't want to live in a world like that. I'd rather go up and be with Grandma in Heaven. And if that option didn't exist, then I rather live in a delirium. I already have to often lose myself in delirium to keep myself breathing. Do you realize this? I pretend Morgan is around. I have to imagine he's holding me every night to get to sleep. I talk to him when I'm alone. Okay? I'm crazy. And I don't give a damn what anyone thinks of that. If I didn't have that, I wouldn't have made it this far. He is the reason I keep breathing.

Meanwhile, the tension in the house has been building. I had a fight with my Mother last night, which is rare. I'm still kind of angry.

So, due to those three things, I was up until after 2AM. Crying until I lost my mind and started talking to Morgan. I reached a point where I was actually quite happy... for me. Just so you know who I really am. I'm crazy.
...

Today, I'm crying again. After another bad night's sleep (at least not due Slendy obsession), I got out of bed just in time to watch the world premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. I cried a lot, off and on the whole time, but at the end they brought together, if I can remember correctly: David Heyman, David Barron, David Yates, Steve Kloves, Jo Rowling, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, and the head of Warner Bros.. They all gave speeches, and I cried and cried. It was a beautiful end to a wonderful 10 years. More, of course, if you consider this the end of the first generation of the Harry Potter franchise as a whole, as I do. And that makes this another goodbye, that I can't handle.

I will probably link to a clip of it later, but as Jo put it, "Whether you return by page or big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home." If you love Harry Potter anywhere near as much as I do, you need to see these speeches. And you will cry. Jo cried. Emma cried. If you love Harry Potter, you will cry. I'm watching the whole premiere again right now to see these moments.
...

As I come to the end of this emotional post, I can only say I'm truly glad I have therapy tonight. I really need it.


fireflys_locket: (Kagome Stupid Weather - fireflys_locket)
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I definitely believe in Global Warming. And I think it's sad that lots of people don't recycle when it's so easy to do. :/ Even in my own home, my Mom and I have to work against the tide (aka Joe) to get any kind of recycling done. I swear he is just against it to drive me crazy. He tears up papers and cardboard boxes... and then throws them it the trash. We have a bag in the closet maybe 10 feet away for recycling! It's not that hard to do. He even yelled at me when I tried to dump the paper from the shredder into the recycling bag instead of the trash. Ugh. Now, I just do it when he's not around.

Meanwhile, I can't say I'm doing every thing I could. I know I should switch drinking bottled water for a filter and aluminum bottles. They are even supposed to be better for your health, but I can't seem to get it together and switch. It's made more difficult by the fact that I have to fight against Joe for anything I want to do. I just don't have the energy for such a big project right now. At least, I recycle the plastic bottles, right? That's better than most people. *Sighs*
fireflys_locket: (Kagome Stupid Weather - fireflys_locket)
So, the stage after destruction is transformation. Jill warned me that, for someone as sensitive as me, transformation is often a similar upset. And indeed, and awkward transformation has begun.

Magnolia (Maggie): October 29, 2007 ~ June 9, 2010.

Also known as: my computer died.

Now, please realize that, for me, my computer is like a part of me. :/ I know that sounds pretty sad, but it is where I keep my thoughts, my things, keep track of my OCDness.... ~_~; But it also my only contact with the rest of the world most of the time.

Luckily, with some arguing and frustrated compromise, my Step Father got my a new computer, and like last time, I lost very little. Only C Drive failed. And I keep all my personal files off of C Drive since I'd think it the most likely to fail. Joe got angry when I demanded he take the new computer back to Staples to have them put in another drive, but I have really good reasons behind it all!

Anyways, I'll just get onto it. I hate Windows 7. Okay, hate might be taking a bit too far. (But only just...) I mean it's a working computer with double the space. That's fantastic! And some of the new features are pretty cool, but most of them are more annoying than helpful.  

For instance, why do most of my messengers want to sit around with open tabs? Why can't they sit in the taskbar where they used to? I tried a fix I found for awhile, but then I kept getting a billion runtime errors when I went to check my email. At this rate, I may have to limit myself to one messenger to cut down on the madness. ~_~; It would have to be Window Live for my email connection, though losing AIM's Facebook and Twitter connection would be disappointing. :/

I also think Window Media Player 12 is all messed up. Why is the "Now Playing" not a tab but like... a whole different shell? And why can't I change the colours? Or see my album art in the "Now Playing" shell? Or edit tags (luckily I have a better program for that, but still)?

I guess I'm lucky I was able to fix the bar to show tabs in the traditional way. Now I like the way it looks (besides the always sitting there messengers). Sliding stuff around and pinning things is definitely cool. I love having quick access to my most important Word documents. And once I get everything settled, I'm going to set it up so I have different Wallpapers everyday (an exciting feature I heard about from someone from Giant Bomb). ETA: Snipping Tool and Sticky Notes are also quite cool.

Still, I'm mostly unhappy. I think I'm going to end up like all those Vista complainers a few years ago, because I am so unhappy with this set up. The last transition went much more smoothly. I loved my Vista. :( Why did you have to die, Maggie?

When I talked about Windows 7 with Jill on Thursday, we came to the same conclusion: Windows 7 looks very pretty and approachable, but underneath that, if you actually know what you're doing, it's difficult (if not impossible) to do what you want. Things have been simplified... and not in a good way.

Well, my apologies... I don't like to rant, but sometimes it's called for. I don't mean to offend anyone who likes Windows 7. But so far, the bads are outweighing the goods for me. :/

Courtney: June 9, 2010 ~ Present. ...let's hope we can learn to work together, hm?

I still need to reinstall my Sims 2 and Sims 3. I'm also hoping the tv tuner actually works on this computer, though I've really gotten used to not having it. So, wish me luck?
fireflys_locket: (Blue Phoenix Alone - jadedicons)

I don't understand people. Maybe I'd be better off just leaving it at that...

I found an old post on Giant Bomb about jokes pertaining to gender roles and using "gay" as an insult. I probably wouldn't have left a message, but it seemed like every comment was insulting the original poster about being too sensitive, and I wanted them to know they weren't the only one who felt upset by that type of thing.

"This post is old, but I just wanted to say I absolutely agree. Supposed gender roles and using "gay" (or the equivalent) as an insult are absolutely disgusting. The ironic thing is that I have friends who supported gay rights long before I did using the word "gay" as "stupid". I can't really understand that. Though when it comes to Jeff's type of joke, I would mostly just roll my eyes."

And someone replied back to me with:
"That's gay. Also old and big deal. If I was homosexual and someone called something gay, I shouldn't feel emotionally compromised by something that's not directed towards me."

~_~; It's not like I care too much about this random person's opinion. I'm just not used to this internet dispute thing. I usually stay far away from expressing my opinion for I could very easily get myself worked up with this type of thing.

I responded back: "Even though it's not a direct attack, I think someone who says things like that is showing no respect to other people. I just don't think people should be so cruel. I know that it's not always meant to be cruel. People don't even realize what they are saying because they are so desensitized to it. But that's part of the problem."

I honestly hope that's the end of it. I don't want to fight with this person; I'm a pacifist. ~_~;

But anyways, what I was really getting at is that I find the main topic sad. Why are people so cruel to each other? I mean the amount of hatred that I see online is ridiculous. And often for really stupid reasons like over which console is better. I actually saw someone on Gaia respond to a topic about liking Twilight with: "I don't know you, but I hope you die a horrible death." Seriously. Just because that person liked Twilight! It's digusting. There are lots of people who like things that I don't like... or even hate, but I would never say something like that.

But the funniest thing is that, as always, I'm in the minority. I'm the weird one for caring. But that's fine. If being weird means actually having some sort of respect for people, then I'll gladly be weird.


fireflys_locket: (Rin Fireflies - fireflys_locket)
While I fully enjoy the song "Fireflies" by Owl City, I'm starting to find it extremely annoying that people are assuming I took my username (which I use just about everywhere) from it. ~_~; So, here we are... an explanation of where my username comes from...

Firefly's Locket (not Fireflies misspelled, but possessive) is an object in my stories. Now, originally, I did fall in love with a song about fireflies ("Firefly" by A*Teens), which became the inspiration for a naming a character Firefly in my Harry Potter fanfiction, Lily and the Coral Orb, and later, The Timeline. Firefly has an enchanted locket that is rather important to my stories as a whole. She is sort of my guardian angel in the stories that are the most about me. And I wear her locket.

So, in short, while semi-inspired by a different song, my frequent username "fireflys_locket" is from my stories and has nothing to do with Owl City. Thank you, and have a nice day.


(Firefly's Locket owned since circa 2001.)
fireflys_locket: (Default)

A couple of months ago, I finally finished the first Phoenix Wright game. (I have a bad habit of getting close to the end of a game and then waiting a long time to finish because I don't want it to end. ~_~; ) I figured I'd add the next game to my long list of things to buy, which is usually made up of links to Amazon.com pages, even though I don't always buy them from there. And my mouth fell open. It was listed for $70.

Now, for anyone not familiar with the Phoenix Wright games, they are primarily on the Nintendo DS. I'd say the average price for a new DS game when first released is maybe $35. And this game is already a few years old. So, this was kind of crazy. Then I saw the first game's price. $90. $90 for a DS game! (Just checking now has shown me that it's now over $100...)

Since then, I've been noticing more and more games listed for insane prices. Now, this is not being sold by Amazon.com directly, but it's not just some random person either. Over where you add something to your shopping cart it says "In stock. processing takes an additional 4 to 5 days. Ships from and sold by Hitgaming Video Games." Well, I'd certainly like to hit them.

While it's not directly Amazon's fault for the price that's being set, they are officially selling through this company, and it's really getting annoying. I'm totally fine with continuing to pay the original price for games even if they've been out for awhile, but paying OVER the original price?? Not so much. Yet a lot of games are hard to find in the stores unless they've just been released or are huge hits. Game retail is kind of just broken in general.

Anyways, I'm now building a list of games I need to search store for used whenever possible, since I can't rely on Amazon.com to be my backup in case I can't find them at the store. I searched through the mall's GameStop on Monday for about 40 minutes and only found two of them. It's really quite depressing.


fireflys_locket: (Kagome Stupid Weather - fireflys_locket)

A Religious rant, forgive me... )

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