Music Meme

Jan. 21st, 2017 03:43 pm
fireflys_locket: (Valerie - amillionicons)
Rules: you can tell a lot about a person from the music they listen to. Put your music on shuffle and list the first ten songs, then tag 10 people. Take it if you want to!

1. Poe - Hello

2. S Club 7 - Dangerous

3. Sherwood - Gentleman of Promise

4. Erutan - Come Little Children

5. Nobuo Uematsu - Compression of Time

6. Hilary Duff - I Am

7. Linkin Park - Shadow of the Day

8. Adele - Make You Feel My Love

9. Buffy the Vampire Slayer Cast - Walk Through the Fire

10. t.A.T.u. - Show Me Love
fireflys_locket: (Lovely Reflection - amethystia)
I was watching Marie Forleo's latest video, and my responses to her questions were getting so long that I decided to turn this into a journal entry. It's been too long, I know. This is only my seventh entry for the whole year. And one was just an excerpt from Magic Inc. But hey, here I am, ready to share more honest, personal thoughts. I suggest you watch the video to understand the questions more in depth, and maybe, make your own list because this felt really cathartic to me. But that's up to you!

1. What’s one thing you did that you’re proud of?
I participated in my first author event/signing. Which was incredibly scary and required a lot of emotional preparation. But I think, considering how hard it is for me to do anything social, I coped well with it. And it was because it was something I really wanted to do, instead of something I felt pressured to do. Plus, I got everything ready ahead of time, which helped calm my anxieties a lot. That could be part of what I learned this year, as well. That giving myself enough time to prepare can really help my anxiety. It won't make it go away, but it does help. I've also put a lot of effort into my second book, and I feel like my writing has improved and I've figured out better ways of working that suit me and my process. It can be hard not to look ahead and see over half a book left to write, but what I have written is some of my best work to date. And it is because I am taking my time with it.

2. What’s one mistake you made and the lesson you learned?
My mistakes are mostly personal, but I think, as always, I struggle too much with worry about what other people will think. I know myself and what I want, and I don't let anyone change that. I don't hide my true self, and I don't fake anything. But I still get triggered way too often by stuff I read on Facebook and the like that I feel is making a judgment on who I am (which sometimes is true, but is often just my perception). I also still judge myself based on other people's accomplishments far more than I ever spend celebrating my own. But I've never been good at celebrating myself, so I'm not sure how to change that.

3. What’s one thing you’re willing to let go of before the New Year?
I have lots of projects I still feel will find their way in the right timing, so I don't want to let go of them completely. I have been doing a lot of physical clearing in my life, though. Going through old clothes, jewelry, magazines, and various papers I no longer need. As well as making a habit of donating books, DVDs, and CDs I don't see myself revisiting. I'm a collector, so I like having a lot of stuff, but it's still important to check with yourself - will I use this again and/or does it have deep meaning to me? You don't have to save absolutely everything. Along with that, I'm trying to keep myself from feeling committed to finish any book series, video game, or TV series that doesn't really capture me. There are so many beautiful stories that will resonate with you, and there just isn't enough time to waste on stories that don't. I tend to try to see the best in creative works, and I have to remind myself that I don't have to like everything. And my not liking something isn't necessarily saying it's objectively bad, just not my cup of tea.

In terms of resentments and guilt, that's a lot harder to let go of. I've quarreled a lot with relatives in the last few years, finally having to block some truly toxic people. Ideally, you would be able to cut off toxic people without holding onto resentment, just forgive and let go (without letting them back in to cause more damage). But that's rarely the case. And for those people who have hurt you without meaning to? The ones you want to forgive and move on with? Maybe that's even harder. And perhaps worst of all, when you're holding onto anger with a person you are currently stuck living/dealing with. Someone you would cut off for good if you could, but life isn't perfect and you have to deal with people you don't like sometimes. And you feel you can't really let go of that anger because you have to continue guarding against them. But at the same time, that anger is killing you, not them. “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Ugh. So true. And yet that doesn't make it easier to let go. At least not for me.

Well, there you have it. I'm not sure I'm completely ready to let go of this year and move into a new one, especially knowing at least one bad thing January has in store. But I do feel like I've opened myself up more and given myself the opportunity to think deeply about all of this. Sometimes even I avoid feeling things if I can manage it. (I usually can't, but if I can... oh, man.) The year ahead scares me. But I encourage you all to follow your heart and intiution. To speak out against injustice. And to be kind. The world desperately needs it right now.
fireflys_locket: (Pretty Hachi - girlgamer)
When you get this ask, list 5 things that make you happy, then send it to the last 10 people that liked/reblogged something from you :)

I decided to repost this here since I ended up writing a lot and wanted to share with more people.


So, you may or may not know, but I struggle a lot with the word happy. If I use it, like I did yesterday, I usually say “I’m happy to” or “I’m happy with” not straight up “I’m happy”. Because I have never felt the kind of happiness that gets down deep in your heart. I’ve always felt lonely and scared of being even more alone in my future. And this is getting awfully mopey for my being in a decently good mood. Sorry.

But here are some things that make me happy-ish and have gotten me through hard times:

1. Working on Magic Inc. Writing, in general, feels great as long as I don’t try to force it and just follow my inspiration’s lead. But Magic Inc. feels even more special than my other stories because it allows me to relive my childhood fantasies and work through some of my deepest feelings in text. That also makes it scarier to eventually share that story with other people. (And soon.) But hopefully, it will reach people who can relate to it.

2. The Sims. I love The Sims. I love making characters on there and “work” stuff like that. But I also love just playing. I’m constantly making stories in my head while playing Sims, and occasionally, they end up as some part of my fictional universe. But just being able to create stuff that’s just for me is a good creative exercise. I get to create without any pressure.

3. Giant Bomb. I can’t tell you how much Giant Bomb (and older GameSpot) videos and podcasts have helped me get through rough periods in my life for the past ten years. The Persona 4 Endurance Run is something I go back to time and time again, and I kind of can’t imagine my life without these dudes in it, as silly as that may sound. Losing Ryan Davis was so hard because it felt like he was a distant friend.

4. Having a great therapist/mentor. Jill is a key part of my life. She’s encouraged me to be myself and follow my dreams. There’s no way I’d be getting ready to publish my first book right now without Jill to read everything I’ve written and to give me her honest feedback.

5. Watching through TV shows with my Mom. Since my great emotional crash of 2010, I’ve usually spent a few hours every night, during my most emotionally vulnerable time, watching TV shows with my Mom. This idea has greatly improved as we realized that watching shows from the beginning through DVDs or streaming is much more fun than just seeing what’s on and having to choose from that. We’ve watched through almost 25 shows over the last few years, and we have fun making silly references to each other.
fireflys_locket: (Valerie - amillionicons)
I found another old quiz thing I decided to fill out. This one should be lot less controversial than the last one. Haha.

Read more... )

A Post...

Oct. 25th, 2013 05:08 pm
fireflys_locket: (Fangirl Hachi - fireflys_locket)
In which I talk briefly about dealing with anxiety (and why it's never been a better time to be a nerd) and not so briefly about things that I love.

Hey, look: I'm posting again! And it hasn't been forever. I'm pretty proud of that. I really don't know why it's been so hard to come up with things to talk about this year. I mean, I have theories, but... well, that doesn't really matter. I'm here now. I was talking about social networks with Jill last night, and I was lamenting how LiveJournal really fell out of relevance for most people. But I love this place. Maybe all that's left now is nostalgia, but I don't care. This is where I post my thoughts, still. When I have something more than a tweet's worth of a thought.
I've reluctantly accepted Twitter as a worthwhile way to get small thoughts out. I didn't want to like it, but I do now.

So, this week hasn't been much to talk about. I went to the mall to get a book last Saturday, and there was some kind of mall event going on. I was only there about 15 minutes, but I've been exhausted since then. I seriously almost turned around and left right away when I saw all the people. I was emotionally exhausted all this week. I didn't get any writing done, save for just a paragraph or two last night. That how much that kind of thing affects me. But I know I'm not the only person who goes through that. People with high anxiety have good company, I think. That makes it suck just a teeny, tiny bit less. Occasionally.

I read a good post yesterday about what we think of as flaws not always being inherently bad. Everybody just works differently. If you embrace the things that are part of you and work with them, stuff usually turn out better than if you were fighting your own nature. I find that to be pretty true for me. Some weeks just don't work out writing-wise. Stressing about it just gets me in an even worse space for writing the next week. Knowing that helps, but it can still be hard accepting a "bad" week when everything was going so well. But I try. And when I"m dealing with anxiety or the exhaustion from it, I try my best to enjoy things I can do while recovering. (More on this later...)

There's a craft show this weekend I want to go to, which is always busy. So, I might be emotionally weary all next week, too. It happens. Things will come back together, though. Although I was not happy to see snow yesterday, I am kind of ready to not go out as much (which isn't a lot, as it is, but still). To snuggle up with my writing and reading and video games and Netflix all Winter. It's a really good time to be an introvert, guys. Or a nerd, or whatever you want to call it. There's just so much stuff you can enjoy at home by yourself. Or with people you're close with, if you're lucky enough to have some. Love stuff, by the way. It's fun to love stuff.

So, what kind of stuff am I loving right now? Well, the short answer is LOTS OF STUFF!!! I'm going to give you the long answer...

While I haven't been writing this week, I have been reading. After feeling so overwhelmed most of this year with "needing" to read writing from friends and acquaintances, I switched to reading some books I've been dying to read. I finished Mockingjay a couple of weeks ago. Wednesday, I finally started The Fault in Our Stars. Yes, the third John Green book I've bought, and I'm finally reading one! (I have sooo many books to read, gah.) Why did I wait so long to read this book? I'm already totally in love with it. And I pretty much knew I would be, from all the stuff I've heard about it on Tumblr or VlogBrothers. I even ordered a signed poster, because it was just so pretty. (The story behind the poster is cool, too.) Sometimes, you just know when you're really going enjoy something. And if you're like me... sometimes, you save that thing for when you really need it. Like I did on Wednesday. So, I'm glad I waited, in the end.

While I'm on the topic of VlogBrothers, I've been watching my way through HankGames videos (with and without Hank). I particularly enjoy watching Hank and Katherine play Super Mario Brothers Wii. They are my go-to videos right now. Along with - as always - catching up on Giant Bomb videos. These two sets of videos, more than anything, have been making my weeks more enjoyable lately.

I've been watching other stuff, too. I recently watched through Samurai Champloo on Netflix. I haven't started another show or season yet, but I've thinking either the second season of Dollhouse or the third season of Being Human will be next. Meanwhile, I've been rewatching The Vision of Escaflowne on DVD. (Did I ever tell you how much I love boys with wings? Like, seriously. Sparkly vampires are great and all, but give me ghosts or angels over them any day.) And I'm watching Degrassi and The Legend of Korra on TV. Neither is particularly thrilling me this season, but the way fans have abandoned both shows kind of scares me.

I've also been playing games. I got back into Skyrim this week. Finally started the Dawnguard stuff. And I've been playing lots of The Sims 2. Both games are go-tos for de-stressing. And they work just as well as ever, thank goodness. I've been all over the place with gaming for the last month. I can't even begin to list every game I've played a bit of. But yeah, gaming is fantastic, and I love it.

I don't necessarily love times when I'm not writing as much, but that's how I get to fit some of this other stuff in. I've gotten back to organizing and (with Joe's help) hung some posters. I even made an new icon post for the first time in about two years. So, yeah. I've been enjoying my time just fine by trying to focus on good things instead of the not-so-good. It can be hard, I know. Trust me, I know. But I'm mentioning these things, because I'm really grateful that they exist and I get to enjoy them.

And I want to thank Ben and his video for inspiring me to make this very long post, that no one will read. Hehe. I like looking back at my posts every once in a while, so this is for future me, mostly. This is what I've been up to and thinking. I love you, Gina (future me). I hope you're doing well, too. (And you have Morgan, if we're lucky!)
fireflys_locket: (Fangirl Hachi - fireflys_locket)
It's been too long since I talked about fandoms on here. I took this survey from this Tumblr post. I'm not sure I have any amazing answers, but I'm going to try my best.

1. What fandom(s) did you fall into this year? Lots, but I'll list some favorites: One Tree Hill, The Hunger Games, Instant Star, Dollhouse, and Dance Academy. I'm looking forward to enjoying more of all of these this year.

2. What new internet slang did you learn? Uh... no idea.

3. What was the best movie you saw? I watched so many great movies in 2012, but I'm not sure which I'd call the best. But if you want a long list of some movies I really loved watching last year: The Last Song, Water Lilies, Foxfire, Keith, The Secret World of Arrietty, Wreck-It Ralph, The Hunger Games, Across the Universe, Sucker Punch, Black Swan, Cruel Intentions, Snow White and the Huntsmen, Beastly, and Red Riding Hood.

4. Favorite character you met this year? Peeta Mellark. <3

5. Favorite meme? I'm not sure about that.

6. What is the most nerdy item you acquired? Maybe the Signed copy of Paper Towns (which I still haven't read yet...)?

7. Favorite new food you tried this year? I don't try a lot of new foods, but this. Thank you, Sam.

8. What was the best book you read? This is so close between Catching Fire and Forbidden, but I'm going to choose Forbidden, because I adored it, and I'm hoping a great new series will follow this great book.

9. Favorite YouTube channel you subscribed to? Michelle Phan. What can I say? Her videos are so relaxing, and I love the music she uses.

10. What is your favorite memory of 2012? Meeting my (almost) step-niece, Brooklyn.

11. What are you looking forward to in 2013? Finishing at least two first drafts, and working on the second drafts of those stories. I am seriously really excited!

12. What is the GIF best expresses 2012 for you? The year in general. Most of my year. The rest of my year.
fireflys_locket: (Fangirl Hachi - fireflys_locket)
I haven't been writing much. However, I have been very focused on planning. Readying myself to finish Dreaming in Shadow and Miss Masquerade. Thinking about how I'll procede with the next versions. Trying to figure out which stories I'll start next. And lots of details in stories I'm planning out. Sometimes, it's hard to feel satisified with a week of just planning... but I also know, I've been really busy up in my head, not just with writing but with other things as well. And I've certainly been busy taking in inspiration!

Yesterday, I completed Titanic: Adventure Out of Time for the 5th or 6th time. What makes this time special is that I did it for the 100th anniversary. And I managed to do what I always wanted to do - save Georgia, while still getting off the boat with all the important objects. Every guide I can remember warned against trying to save Georgia, and you get no acknowledgement at the end of the game for doing so. But like with all the effort I spend in trying to keep followers alive in The Elder Scolls games, I feel good about it. In my world, Georgia and Carlson live happily ever after in this great world of peace.

Another thing I revisited last week was Firefly. It's only my second time watching it, and no, I didn't watch it while it was actually on, sorry. But man, I love that show. Spaceships really aren't my thing, but the characters in this show are awesome. And that's what makes me love a story. I felt even more sad this time that the show ended so short. But it made me think that I really need to get into some fanfiction. I don't read much of it these days, but this show seems perfect for it. It had so much potential. I'm not really sure where to start looking, though.

I've also begun a struggle the last couple of weeks of reading A Game of Thrones. I think I've had this book for about 5 years, on recommendation from Jill. But I've been ignoring it, because I had a feeling it would frustrate me. Maybe it sounds pathetic coming from a writer, but I really don't care for Adult Fantasy. (Or most Adult Fiction, in general.) I feel like it's often too focused on world-building details, instead of how the characters are feeling. Of course, that isn't limited to Adult Fantasy, as I've seen Spindle's End in the YA section, but I think it is more common. And like that book, I really do enjoy the characters in A Game of Thrones, but they often get lost in technical details. Also, the book has twice made me sick with gory descriptions. At least with a movie, I can look away if I see it coming, then it's gone. Books don't quite work that way.

Funnily, the author - like Robin McKinley - is apparently against fanfiction. I guess that's their right, but I don't really respect creators limiting fan expression, when it can actually do a lot to help their creations to be shared with others. As long as someone isn't making money off of your work without permission or claiming it as their own, I don't see what the problem is. I'm just glad my favorite author didn't limit my creativity while I was exploring writing for the first time with her world.

And speaking of that, I joined Pottermore. It's... okay. The interface isn't particularly great. However, the new information is worth the bit of hassle! Oh, Jo Rowling. <3 She just knew we needed more now that the movies are finished. And she has so much information to give! Nothing wrong with her world-building, since you can also feel close to Harry and his emotions. That's the perfect combination, if you ask me.

So far, I've enjoyed the questions, but not the result. Dragon heartstring wand. :/ I would never use that. Next, they'll put me in Slytherin. Though I'd actually mind that less. But it just reminds me of how I'd not be able to deal with Hogwarts if it were real. Turning beetles into buttons and cutting up animal bits for Potions. Sorry, I'll pass. I'll just stay at home and write about magic.

And that's just a portion of all the fandoms I've been into the past couple of weeks! For a more updated idea of what I'm into at any time you could follow me on Tumblr. I check in almost every night.
fireflys_locket: (Clare Cute - clarebear7)
I've been so busy this week, and for the first time in awhile, it had nothing to do with my Grandma's house. Such a relief. I did stop by there with Jan and Paul once to feed Grandma's stray cats. We saw four kittens! It was the fist time I can remember seeing such small ones all year. Jan and I also picked some sweet peas. It was nice. I know I'm going to miss the house a lot when I can't go anymore.

So, this week's busy was mostly to do with writing. I started last weekend off by working on Miss Masquerade while playing with Sapphira's family on The Sims 2. It's such a fun way to write. I started to think about some of the characters that don't have last names, since I couldn't make them as sims unless I gave them some sort of last name. So, with the help of my Mom doing some research on Italian surnames, I found a last name for Sylas. I wrote it on the notebook I keep on my desk and glanced at it over the week. Everytime I did, I still really liked it. I'll probably make him (and his brother) soon.

Tuesday, while I was doing laundry, I was thinking about book names for my Magic Inc. series. I only had titles for the first 3 books. I was also thinking about my old Harry Potter series, which had many of the same themes. (It was probably because I've been reading a HP fanfic over this month. A great read, by the way.) I thought about the parallels between the world I was making up just in my head and the fanfiction I was writing out. I realized that with a little work, I could use some of the old titles. Now, I have great titles for the first 6 books and tentative ideas for the following 2. Putting those titles into place on my timeline made me end up spending a good hour or so getting some other stories lined up. Now, I have 15 of the busiest years in place.

I also finished the Miss Masquerade chapter that I hadn't quite finished. And I was super nervous about that part. Sapphira has a dream, whose effects I had planned for ages, but I hadn't figured out what exactly was going to happen. I was almost sick about it until Thursday, when I showed Jill. She loved it. I kept asking her for opinions, since she studies dreams, but she had a hard time not just saying how much she liked it. Hehe. I still think it needs a little work - it feels quite raw, like most parts of Spun of Silver - but I do feel better about it now. Or maybe it's supposed to feel raw, considering Sapphira's reaction to it? Hmm.

Yesterday, I spent the day with my Mom, then we picked up Joe around 6PM to go see Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. Believe it or not, it was only my third time. Yeah. That's insane for me. Just goes to show how busy it's been with my Grandma's house. *Sighs* Anyways, I enjoyed it so much... cried lots... but I also started getting ideas for an upcoming Miss Masquerade chapter. It's a blessing and a curse. The better - or more inspirational - the movie, the more likely I am to start feeling like I need to write or think about my own stories at some point. That's why I enjoy watching movies at home by myself best. I can pause whenever I want to for a 10 (or more) minute break. It happens all the time.

Today, I wrote about 5 pages of Dreaming in Shadow, finishing up a chapter I've been working on for a few weeks. The first half was action-oriented, which is not my favorite or best type of writing, but the second half was full of emotion. I had such a great feeling while writing, and I found some great songs to fit with it. One is a song from the newest season of Degrassi. Fits so well. Goodness, I love Degrassi music. <3

I've been totally in love with Degrassi, of course. I'm trying to not overwatch this season, though. I watched the Boiling Point episodes so many times that I'm kind of sick of them. I don't want that to happen again. I still love interactions between Clare and Eli, though I'm not sure they should get back together. I like Imogen in a character appreciation-type way. I'm not so crazy about Jake. He's sweet sometimes, but I can't see him being a long-term match for Clare. I wish there was more Adam, though I know they need to deal with older characters storylines right now. Speaking of that, I just knew they didn't bring in a pretty young teacher without plans for a student/teacher relationship. I like it so far, though I miss Sav/Anya still.

Surprises

May. 6th, 2011 11:18 am
fireflys_locket: (Clare Dance Suprise - degrassijunk)
Life is full of surprises. Last week, I sort of made up with Christen. And this week, Grandma is more alert and focused on getting out of the hospital, not just moving on to Heaven. It's really amazing. She is acting a little confused, though, which bothers me. But we think it's a medicine thing... she's on so many. I guess only time will tell if she's really getting better. I'm still kind of scared to trust in it.

Yesterday, I also spent some time planting at Jan's house. I really didn't want to go at first, but it was beautiful day. I'm glad I was there. That house also feels relatively safe to me. It's easily a family home already, probably helped that I (just barely) remember back when my Great Aunt lived there. The flowers are gorgeous, but there's still plenty of room for more flowers. But be sure, Jan will have it full of lovely flowers in time. She's like a garden faerie. HeH.

Meanwhile, I've been able to get a bit of writing done in the last week. I wrote a chapter of Magic Inc. last Friday. And last night, I finally broke and started a new Degrassi fic. I've been watching so many great fan videos on YouTube, and it makes me want to write so much. ^_^; This time around, I was inspired by this video, and the idea of Julia being the one to live instead of Eli. The video is lightly femmeslashy, which is fine, though I have a slightly different idea for my story. It's also probably going to have a little supernatural twist at the end, which I wish I could leave as a complete mystery, but I have a feeling if it comes out of nowhere, readers won't be happy.

The structure of the story is going to be made up of mostly very short chapters (like a page or two), and every other chapter is Julia writing a letter to Eli as part of her therapy. It's another sort of abstract concept like Three Days. And I don't know if I'll stick to it. It seems like a lot of work to put into fanfiction. I think I'll at least need to wait until the DVDs come out before I continue because I want to follow all the Misfit scenes in the story. But anyways, that's my new crazy idea.

I stayed up too late writing. :/ It's taking time out of what I wanted to do last night and this morning. I haven't even taken a shower yet. Eek.
fireflys_locket: (Fangirl Hachi - fireflys_locket)
I have come to realize that I may never get myself to learn how to make fanvideos. I don't think I have the patience to even try. However, that hasn't stopped me from coming up with many, many ideas. So, here they are... anyone is welcome to them. I just want to see my ideas come to life. For some of them, I have specific scene ideas for certain parts of the song. I'll note them with * just in case you want to ask me about them.

Ideas for Degrassi, NANA, and more... )

Recoveries

Apr. 13th, 2011 04:53 pm
fireflys_locket: (Clare Close Glow - retropd_icons)
I wrote all day. I guess I must be feeling better. Oh, you didn't know I was sick. Well, that's okay. I started feeling sick shortly after writing my last entry. I'm not sure where I got it, but I've got a cold again. And it's hard to breathe. My Mom had to ask a pharmacist what I would be allowed to take with my other medication the next day. It was pretty awful the first night. I didn't get to sleep until after 2. I hadn't seen 2 AM in months. I didn't really miss it. :/

Anyways, the next night, traumatized from one bad night of sleep, I started having a panic attack the second my head hit the pillow. It was pretty intense, but my Mom had just gone to sleep, and I didn't want to bother the company. So, I took 2 Klonopin, knowing it would knock me out, and called my Dad. He's always said I could call anytime, and it wasn't even midnight. He's been really supportive lately. We talked until I started drooping.

I'm definitely still sick, but I'm feeling so much better today. Claritin really works to help you breathe. And good sleep makes all the difference. I won't be surprised if I have another bad day or two, since that's what usually happens, but maybe my Dad and I really will start work on cleaning Grandma's house on Saturday.

While watching My Body is a Cage last night, I got an idea for a short fic I just had to write. It's kind of sad, but hopefully, it reflects what will happen in the last two episodes of the season. Or hopefully not - depending.

Oh, my goodness. I've been listening to this song all day. It worked quite well for writing Recovery, but it fits Dreaming in Shadow perfectly!
fireflys_locket: (Lovely Reflection - amethystia)
...and ending up in strange places. )

It's been a really stressful few weeks. The family is gathered together - often clashing with each other... with only more to come as we make big decisions about Grandma's future. My anxiety has been high, but today, I feel more depressed than anxious. And I know Grandma is depressed, too. I just don't know what to do. I just want to fade away into Morgan's arms. But that's nothing new

Regarding Degrassi, somewhere in my heart, there is a place where I will always love Adam/Fiona, but Chasing Pavements Part 2 was beautiful and heartbreaking. I couldn't possibly hold it against Fiona for being herself. The way Fiona looked at Holly J. as she put the necklace on in the dream... was Lovely Despair. It was such an amazing episode. Up there with my favorites. And on that topic, I thought Jesus, Etc. Part 2 was lovely as well. I didn't want to like Fitz, but there it is... It's not a perfect show, but Degrassi is always teaching me something about understanding people.
fireflys_locket: (Valerie - amillionicons)
Here's a list of music and videos I'd really like to find. As far as I know, there's no legitimate way to find these things. If I'm wrong, I'm 100% fine with a link to a place where I can purchase CDs or DVDs (at a decent price) or whatever. Keep in mind; however, that I can not currently use Pay Pal.

Help Me? )
fireflys_locket: (Show Me the Light (D/Hr) - bombottosa)
I'm disappointed in myself. I wrote all of one page this week. I didn't even bother showing it to Jill, yesterday. Not all weeks are good ones, but lately, I'd been doing so well. The pressure from Dreaming in Shadow still lingers with me, but I think it might be something else, too. I've been really depressed this week. I think it's hormones. :/ Even if I'm not normal, I still have symptoms, sometimes.

Also, Valentine's Day is fast approaching. Should I try to sleep through it again? Maybe, I'll only have depressing dreams, anyways. Maybe, there is no point. I don't know.

I've been playing a little of Suikoden the last couple of days. It's fun, and a little different. The art looks good, which makes me happy. Playing PSOne Final Fantasys is tough for me because of the art. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle the many characters that I guess you can pick up. I'll probably stick with a main party most of the way through.

I've also started my next online reading mission. I'm rereading the Draco/Hermione fic: You Gotta Breathe. It's kind of intense at the beginning; just a warning, in case you want to check it out. The author is working on the third fic in the series now. I only got part way through the second... I think that was around when I left school. Anyways, I'm thinking it will be joining my Favorite Fanworks List. And I'm hoping that daily reading will get me inspired again. Though - as usual - my problem is more a lack of motivation.

Degrassi tonight... still not excited. My Mom is way excited, though. *Sighs* It just looks like everything I care about on the show is about to fall apart. Is it that hard to believe that I'm not excited for that? Randomly, does anyone have a good name idea for J.T. and Liberty's baby? I'm sort of working on a fic relating to that, and I'm more excited for it than actual new Degrassi episodes. Yeah, I said it. :P

Maybe it will all turn around tonight... but I doubt it.
fireflys_locket: (1 2 3 Misfits! - retropd_icons)
And I'm drowning in it. :/ I think I take it back when I said I wanted a new Degrassi promo. Okay, yeah... it looks like great drama, but no, no, no!

Clare's feeling suffocated? Maybe Clare and I aren't as alike as I thought. And I'm worried for Eli, of course. That death card just keeps haunting him. I guess it makes sense, but please, don't die, Eli.

I am most upset for Adam, though. I had a bad feeling that Fiona's acceptance of Adam might actually mean she likes girls. I mean that's actually decently interesting, but it sucks for Adam. I wanted Fiona to be a person, who would love him just the way he is. I wanted that so badly. Adam, I love you. I'm so sorry. Come live in my dream world instead.

I'm totally depressed now. I already was the last few days, but now even more so. My stomach feels sick. Oh, my Misfits... what is happening to you?

ETA: I think this means I'll be writing more Degrassi fanfiction...
fireflys_locket: (Yuna Close Tilt - homette)

I've got Mandy, Joe's friend's dog, here again. Ah, it's so nice to be home alone without actually being alone. And she's just the sweetest dog. I love her so much. Hehe. I've been lucky enough to have two great doggies here this year. I just wish Joe would let me have one of my own.

Taking Mandy out has become a bit of an adventure this time. ^_^; I don't usually go out in the snow for more than 2 minutes. Our walks are much, much shorter than they used to be. My Mom got me an awesome pair of gloves, which helps. But I still go out in shorts and a tank top under my coat. I know, I'm weird. I don't ever wear long sleeves or long pants. I just don't. I get overheated too easily.

Meanwhile, Christmas approaches. I have mixed feelings about Christmas. :/ I actually have the money to get some nice gifts for people this year, which is great! But Christmas, in general, just depresses me. *Sighs* I'm hoping once my Aunt Jan is living around here, she'll find a way to cheer up the holidays, since she loves them so much. So, maybe, this will be the last depressing Christmas? Hard to say.

I don't know if I'm going to do cards this year or not. I bought some. I guess I should really decide, huh?

I've really had to push myself for writing lately. Winter's just a bad time for my writing, it seems. Maybe it's the depressive weight of Christmas? My ideas have still been building well, though. The writing part just isn't coming as easily.

I will say that the Harry Potter fic I'd been reading helped a lot for last week's writing. I finally got the first chapter of my J.T./Liberty fic written, though it still needs some work... and a title. :/ I don't usually write until I have a title. I just got possessed to write it when I did. This week, I'd like to get a chapter of Miss Masquerade done. We'll see how that goes. Some Spun of Silver would be good, too. But that's a lot to ask for out of one wintry week.


fireflys_locket: (Eli/Clare Scribbled Heart - nekoshoujo22)
Well, my Mom and I finished watching all of Degrassi. Now what are we going to watch? Hmm. But the point of this post was to fangirl briefly over the minis of season 9. I hadn't watched the season 9 ones before. I don't really like a whole lot of the other minis. Mostly just the J.T. ones and the "What if Craig Married Ashley?" one. But I thought all of these ones were good.

Ghost!J.T. would be good enough, but I swear there was some forshadowing. Jenna was pregnant right next to K.C., and J.T. told Holly J. "This guy needs you." pointing to Sav. I think there was one other, but I can't think of it right now. Silly me. Anyways, I just thought it was funny.

As for me, it's lonely without Mandy tonight. *Sighs* But her owner said she could definitely stay again next time they go out of town. ^_^ I can't wait!
fireflys_locket: (Adam/Fiona Rainbow - fireflys_locket)
The first episode was sort of disappointing, I guess. Just a warm up for things to come. The promo after the show, though... oh, my goodness. Adam and Fiona looked at each other!!! Ehehe. It was so awesome. I'm excited for Adam/Fiona, if you can't tell. <3 And I hope Declan and Holly J. get back together. Sav/Jenna seems... interesting. Not as interesting as my story, though. :p

I can't believe they are going back to once a week, though. :/ But Eli/Clare and Declan/Holly J. sounds like a good episode to me. I'll stay hopeful.
fireflys_locket: (Adam/Fiona Rainbow - fireflys_locket)

I keep a notebook on my desk for scribbling down notes (obviously). A lot of the notes have to do with writing, like names I might want to use for characters. And then, there are lots of scattered lyrics. Lots and lots. It's rare for me to actually finish a song. In the last year or so, I've gotten close to it twice. I'm trying to tie in my original songs to stories, if I can. that seems to help my productiveness. But I still haven't finished a song in years.  :(

I'm not sure why I have so many little lyrics that come out. I have no idea what to do with them. I don't want to throw them out, so I keep collecting pages and pages of lyrics. Oh, well.

So, Degrassi is back tomorrow! I'm excited ... and scared. I'm hoping that my Adam and Fiona will get together. I just refused to think that promo picture meant nothing. Now that I've written them, I'm even more invested in them. However, I worry for Eli and Clare. I'm happily in love with Eli/Clare, so something bad will totally happen. Couples never stay happy for long. :/ *Sighs*

But now that I'm into it, I guess I'll just keep "fixing" things in fanfiction. I have a few stories I'd like to write, as it is. One about Liberty. One about Sean coming back and stealing Emma away. (That marriage with Spinner couldn't possibly last. ~_~; ) And one about Jenna, believe it or not. That one's for [livejournal.com profile] chibisah . Hehe. But I'll talk about that one later.

And the last chapter of Three Days is actually finished, I just need to get it back. It took a slightly more emotional turn. Eli did it, himself. I swear characters are always coming to life and making decisions for me! I'm kind of okay with that, though. I like the way it turns out, usually.

I've still been watching Degrassi with my Mom. We're on Season 7. Getting close to being done! I also rewatched Princess Tutu, this week. I loved it even more the second time around, I think, because I was freed with the knowledge of the end not being the expected one. I actually love the ending, now. And I love Fakir. He fits in easily to my broken boy collection. <3 And he writes, too.
 
I also watched some of the voice acting extras. Luci Christian (who plays Duck/Ahiru in English) cried when she was recording the end. Awwww. I want to meet her so much now. She did so great. I wish there were anime conventions around here again. *Pouts*
 


fireflys_locket: (Valerie - amillionicons)

Today, I went out to two different farms and saw some alpacas and miniature horses. It was a great little adventure. The alpaca farm was so warm and friendly. It seemed like the whole family was greeting us happily. They had a nice gift shop, and I spent way too much money there. Haha. I don't really regret it, though. Everyone was so welcoming that I was glad to give some support. The little alpaca toys were just so cute. I videoed a mini puppet show for Ethan when I got home. I hope he likes it.

The farm with the miniature horses was a lot busier, but it was nice, too. There was a table with some Amish goods and a miniature horse pulled cart for kids. I wished that Ethan could have been here for it! It was getting kind of windy and lots of the horses were too far off to pet, so we didn't stay as long there.

I was tired all day for some reason. I had to drag myself out of bed this morning. I'm really glad I did, but when I got back I crawled into bed and watched some Project Runway from Netflix for a couple of hours. It's a good lazy show to watch. I felt a little more awake, afterwards.

Last night, I finally started work on the last chapter for Three Days. I only got a page done, but it was flowing pretty well. I'm relieved; hopefully, this is a good sign. I also reached a Dreaming in Shadow milestone: page 75! I should throw a party for 100. Haha.

I'm also continuing to work on my Favorite Fanworks List. Unfortunately, it seems like so many of my favorites just aren't available online anymore. So disappointing. :(

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