Jan. 20th, 2015

fireflys_locket: (Valerie's Happiness - fireflys_locket)
The last few years, I've written up long resolutions/intentions for the year. I don't think I'm going to do that this year. That doesn't mean there aren't things I want to accomplish this year. There are plenty of things I'd love to do. I've even done a pretty fair job at accomplishing last year's goals.

I finished my big cleaning project by the end of May. (Which was exhausting and made me reevaluate my goals for the rest of the year.) I might not have had as epic of a writing year as 2013, but I certainly put a lot of effort into it, getting Magic Inc. revisions 3/4 of the way through and finally pulling Dreaming in Shadow through some successful revisions as well. Another year passed without seeing the end of Miss Masquerade's first draft, but I really have only one chapter left. I read way more in one year than I ever had before. I even put some major effort into exercising, though that was completely derailed by my yearly breakdown and still hasn't gotten back on track.

The truth is... I want the same things every year. The specifics may shift; this story over that story and such. But the core of what I want is the same. Writing, friendship, health. And Morgan. Always Morgan. Finding my soulmate and getting to live a happy, passionate, and safe life with him is always what I want the most. And I've gotten signs from the Universe over the years that finding him is somehow tied with writing, possibly even completing a story. Sometimes that motivates me and other times it crushes me with pressure. Still, I figure if I keep following the guidance I get along with my own intuition I'll find my way to him. I have to. It's too important that it happens. It's everything to me.

But I have to stay away from pressure, because it breaks me. I have to be free to breathe and follow my truth and guidance. So, this year... I don't know if I'll complete the second drafts of Magic Inc. Book One and/or Dreaming in Shadow. I don't know if I'll have something ready to publish. I don't know if I'll be able to get a focus back on health. Or find the better balanced friendships I'm always craving. I don't even know if I'll meet Morgan (yet). But I'm going to focus on the core of those things. And try to believe everything, including me, is as it should be... and on the way to becoming even better.

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